Just Call Me Jonah

I am in constant need of being reminded that I am complete in Christ. Many of us struggle to feel atoned for gross imperfections by a Being that is perfectly righteous. If you're like me the overwhelming act of claiming sisterhood with our precious Lord or being named a daughter of God Almighty himself is so humbling that your soul begs to respond. We can’t help but search our heart for ways that we fail to match our precious life-giving Savior. We crave to be like Him. At times this desire can consume us and even turn into a self sustaining measure to feel as though we play a part in our sanctification although we know this to be untrue. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit is in the business of showing us our brokenness and making us brand new, every day, year after year.  

Since sitting in Sunday School at Adaton Baptist Church until now I've heard and read the story of Jonah many times. I’ve always been appalled and confused by Jonah's reaction to God's mercy toward the people of Nineveh.  When Jonah FINALLY gets to Nineveh and the people respond to his preaching with belief and praise, the missionary is ticked. In fact, in chapter four his displeasure with God is so fierce he requests death. You know, his displeasure with the very God who has bestowed mercy and stuffed truth into his own rebellious heart.  

Tim Keller explains brilliantly in "Counterfeit Gods" how Jonah's fear of failure runs simultaneously with his fear of success. Every bit of it stems from idolatry.  "Jonah's cultural and personal idols had melded into a toxic compound that was completely hidden from him. It led him to rebel against the very God he was so proud of serving."

I'm appalled at Jonah's reaction until I start to recognize a similar motive in myself. I am Jonah.  I too often allow my sin to form a toxic compound of which I am unaware. I see my sin of selfishness and settle for calling it pride.  When I pick apart a pattern of negative emotion, I sometimes find that pride would be more appropriately labeled as egotism and idolatry. 

Tonight, I baked a whole chicken for dinner.  The carcass (for lack of a better word) is boiling in a pot for tomorrow's Chicken and Dumplings. I will then boil the bones for bone broth that will be frozen and made into soup. Dissecting my heart's attitude that exists despite my obedient action and mindset is a lot like the laborious task of cooking this bird in my kitchen.  I can't take the first round and be done.  There is more goodness, more meat of truth, more marrow of insight in the deep recess of my heart waiting to be discovered. This is where we learn the most.  

Jonah needed time in the belly of that fish where the Holy Spirit gave him a good dose of self realization. He wasn’t simply acting out of fear but he was also fleshing out a desire to keep the grace of the gospel for those who were born like him. He wanted God’s goodness for his people and none other. It's a good thing to act out of obedience. The joy, the richest of God's goodness is felt when our hearts are pricked, cut away, broken, boiled and re-boiled. Understanding the sin in our lives is difficult. Understanding how it plays out and affects our relationships is even more difficult. I'm realizing at the ripe ole age of 41 this process of dissection, while difficult, is my life's work. I'm realizing God's goodness to me permeates through each step of this process and my grasping His unrelenting atonement is my daily feast.

Come All Ye Pining, Hungry, Poor

Lord, we adore thy boundless grace, 
The heights and depths unknown,
Of pardon, life, and joy, and peace, 
In thy beloved Son.

Come, all ye pining, hungry poor, 
The Saviour's bounty taste; 
Behold a never-failing store
For every willing guest

O wondrous gifts of love divine,
Dear Source of every good;
Jesus, in thee what glories shine!
How rich thy flowing blood!

Come, all ye pining, hungry poor, 
The Saviour's bounty taste; 
Behold a never-failing store
For every willing guest

Here shall your numerous wants receive
A free, a full supply;
He has unmeasured bliss to give,
And joys that never die.