Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Merry Christmas from Me to You

I love getting Christmas cards.  I even love sending Christmas cards but some times a project like that takes a back seat to other necessities like feeding children and earning a living.  Maybe a Christmas blog will be an acceptable proxy...

EMMA...
continues to grow in grace and beauty but not so much in stature.  We're pretty sure she will continue to view the world from 5 feet nuthin' for the remainder of her existence.  The last few months she has proven that her sizable noggin houses a sizable brain.  She finished the semester with straight A's including A/P History, Honors Chemistry and Honors Pre-Cal.  Her PSAT score was 10 points higher than anyone else at her school and put her in the top 93% in the nation.  Andy and I find that acceptable.  To top it off, Emma landed the role of Sandy in the upcoming production of Grease!  While the thought of her stage kissing boys has caused her father to curl into the fetal position we are super excited to see her dance around the stage in her poodle skirt and pony tail.  Seriously, we are so proud of the witty, bright, beautiful girl God is continuing to create in our Emma.

ELIOT...
has disappeared.  In his place, someone has dropped a deep voiced, muscle clad man child. His report card is mostly A's with one B, probably a pretty girl in that class.  The Chattanooga Valley Eagles football team went into the playoffs undefeated with Eliot playing in most games as the backup quarterback.  Eliot's good buddy Tanner was the starting quarterback and was always a huge source of encouragement to LT and often encouraged coach to put #14 in the game.  Not every kid would give up playing time so willingly.  Now that we've turned our focus to baseball Eliot is working hard to improve his skilz. I'm not sure who will be more pitiful if he doesn't make the team this year...the player or his mama.  Eliot would have loved to wrestle in between those two sports but took a back seat for a bit so his little brother could try his hand at basketball.  Speaking of...

DANIEL...
grows enough every day to make up for Emma's lack of growth and his size 6 shoe tells us he isn't going to stop anytime soon.  His over the top physique fits his personality perfectly.  It's hard to describe the vivacious, life-loving, passionate person that is Danny Mac.  He says everything he thinks and I'm here to tell you, that kid thinks all the time.  The struggle is to keep him from telling everyone all the family secrets.  His last report card was not only almost all A's but included five 100s!  He memorized his multiplication facts without the use of flash cards or needing any assistance at home.  His mind is a steel trap.  Along with his brilliance comes a sensitive, loving spirit that makes this Mama proud.  According to the older kids he gets away with everything the baby of the family should and then some.  If don't believe a word of it but he sure is cute!

If you want an update on LEAH see my most recent post Thankful for Covenant.  

For the first time ever I'm going to allow ANDY to take part in a blog post...don't get used to it:

Travelled three times to Africa and countless times across the United States. For the second year in a row, he got season tickets for Auburn football and knows every exit between our house and the plains. He had the opportunity to speak to more than 3,500 people this year and helped the Chalmers Center reach record-setting levels of donations. He also decided to start a business which will hopefully be the highlight of next year's family update. 





Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Thankful for Covenant

Mid-August found me applying for a job in Covenant College's Chapel Department.  While I knew the list of qualifications fit me perfectly I did not know that Grant and Sandi Lowe had been faithfully praying over that list of qualifications.  As I looked at the job description, I felt it fit my skills and my family's schedule.  After interviewing with Chaplain Grant Lowe and Christiana Fitzpatrick I felt even more excited and waited with great anticipation when FINALLY, Grant called and asked if I'd like to work at Covenant College.

Two days after that phone call I found myself pouring over binders of information and multiple data bases that would become a huge part of my job.  My suspicion that I would enjoy accomplishing the list of tasks described on Covenant's Job Board proved true. I loved it.  The first few weeks were a bit overwhelming when the start of a new semester brought students, chapel speakers, and all the details therein.  Lucky for me, I have a great boss who comparatively makes the most relaxed person seem uptight.  My many many small mistakes were laughed off or overlooked.  His confidence in my ability allowed me the freedom to keep trying and not burst into tears when I planned a luncheon but totally forgot to invite students to attend.  Catered meal...check.  Special guest...check.  25 students to enjoy said meal and form questions for said special guest...crickets.

Speaking of students...I'm so impressed by Covenant's student body.   Most students I observe from afar as they mill about and scan for Chapel.  Then there are those few I've been blessed to know more intimately. I was totally intimidated my first few days of "school".  I feared students would find me cranky, frumpy, and just plain old.  Then really super cool things started to take place.  Things like Ryan coming in strictly to ask me how my day was going.  If his "check ins" coincided with moments of frustration he would lend me a patient ear and remind me that I was new and would one day know what the heck I was doing.  "Ryan the Intern" doesn't have to talk me off a cliff nowadays but his company and conversation are still stellar and a highlight of any day.  I also have the pleasure of supervising amazing work study students.  These guys are the cream of the crop.  While I had no part in picking them "Utterly Kendra", "Jon Boy" and "Roger That" are exactly the ones I would have hand picked.  "Bells" may not be MY work study but she makes for good company and can work for hours without making a peep.  Yes, we're big on nicknames and even have a not so secret Chapel Department handshake.  These students and many more have become my friends.  They have become a great source of encouragement to me and often give me the privilege of knowing them.  Not only do they share with me their joys but also their frustrations.  This is by far my most favorite part of my new world.


The one part of my job that I absolutely hate is the ever looming graduation day.  While I'm super thankful for the students that are sticking around, I'm so sad to have such a short time with the Seniors.  I try to focus on being thankful that I started working at Covenant this year so I get to miss them next year rather than miss knowing them at all.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

The Kind that Lasts

For two decades I've been blessed with the utmost confidence that as long as Andy Jones walked the earth, I would have a most trusted ally. As I take this walk through life I'm continuously recognizing who I am and learning who I want to be (cue Ben Rector's "When I'm With You").  As one maneuvers circumstances and decides what road to venture down, life can feel lonely.  Sometimes just taking on the day to day fears of life can seem daunting.   In the most trying of days, after mistakes or failures, in moments of fear and doubt, I've been pointed to the cross.  I've had my hand held and my ears filled with truth all the while being reassured that no matter what, I would be loved.  

To say I'm thankful for this undeserved blessing and the benefit it provides is a poor use of words.  If I were to try and describe how much I depend on my husband to comfort and protect me I would sound weak and maybe a little obsessed.  Over the years in seasons of insecurity my reliance on my husband has set him up for failure. Depending on any human for securities only God can supply is just plain wrong.  His intelligence is such that I expect him to know all the answers, solve all my problems and deliver knowledge on all subjects akin to google.  On a recent three day get away I found it delightful how time to myself could be perfected by the company of my husband.  In other words, when we are together alone, it feels like refreshing alone time.  We read each other's thoughts, finish each other's sentences, laugh at our individual eccentricities and belly laugh at life's irony.   

While this type of familiarity is wonderful it can also be a threat.  We are such one person I forget to appreciate him.  Often times when I have too many irons in the fire he's the first to be sacrificed.  My selfishness can be so consumptive I take him and the blessing that he is for granted.  We have had seasons of marital bliss and frightening times that were a fight.  We have struggled to love each other and have had to trust that God would bless our faith and once again instill the feeling of loving each other.  While love is not an emotion it does cause many types of emotion and forgiveness is always mandatory.  I'm so thankful for the pouring on of God's great mercy and how our love for one another has pierced through all facets of our being.

So I want to wish Andy a very Happy Birthday.  While falling in love so many years ago was a joy, choosing to love each other through all the years since has been the sustenance of life.   






Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Scattered and Overwhelmed

“Scattered and overwhelmed” are two words someone used to describe me recently.  The context was appropriate and the discussion edifying.  But oh my wounded pride.  That’s not at all what I want to be!  I want to be refined and capable!  Organized and trustworthy!  Humbly successful most definitely!  I realize each of these adjectives have one thing in common.  They are attainable to the eyes of my fellow man.  I wish my focus was trained on being sacrificial, thoughtful and quietly trusting. I wish I walked through life unconcerned with how others view me.  Funny thing is, my biggest concern is how I see myself.

I love efficiency.  Rarely will you find me in my kitchen cooking “a” meal.  I’m usually attacking pounds of meat bought in bulk and prepping it for the freezer as the night’s vittles are shoved into the oven.  Sometimes going for a run feels like a waste of time so I really like to run with a friend.  I can get my exercise and a little visit. If I can take my dog along then I’m golden!  It’s a beautiful thing, efficiency. I also have great difficulty starting a job I cannot complete. I have huge flower beds and I can NEVER keep up with the weeding.  I try to set aside an entire day so I can pull all the weeds infiltrating the acre or so surrounding our house.  As you would expect, the amount of weeding that must be done could lay me up for weeks if I try to clean them all out in a day.  So why can’t I just do a little at a time?  If I can’t accomplish a task then it’s really difficult for me to get started. 

Unfortunately, these character traits play out when it comes to my prayer life and study of scripture.  Perfect knowledge of God’s word is not attainable or even close to attainable.  Cue being overwhelmed. I like to pray while I run or as I’m cooking for my family.  However, sitting quietly in my “prayer closet” makes me feel antsy. I’m not saying this is good or acceptable.  I’m trying to say that even good characteristics must be overcome as we strive for holiness.  Efficiency and dovetailing isn’t bad.  It’s totally acceptable to pray while I do a great many things.  I also must make myself spend time resting in my Savior.  I’ve had two separate people during two different conversations encourage me to allow the Holy Spirit to pour back in as life uses up. 


I guess what I’m learning about myself is I’m still striving to earn the love God has already chosen to bestow.  He in His great kindness chosen to love me.  He chased me down and forgave me of my wretchedness and continues to see me as perfectly wonderful.  Tears fill my eyes at the relief of letting go of all I’ve been striving to be.  It’s impossible to be the perfect anything but a perfect culmination of mother, wife, co-worker, friend, and neighbor sets one up for failure.  It is futile and positively ludicrous. My family doesn't need me to be perfect. They need me to trust in the One who lived a perfect existence and atoned for all my past, present and future imperfections.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Sailboat

The last few weeks have been very uncharacteristic for me.  If you’ve seen me during this time period, no doubt I have responded to your standard “how are you?” with some form of “I’m kinda in a funk.”  If I were more thoughtful I’d be able to burden EVERYONE less.  I could respond in kind with a “Doing just fine!  How about yourself?” 

The good news is I’m learning a lot about myself and how my sinful nature is currently choosing to play out in my person.  The bad news is now I feel the urge to blog about it.  I recently read a wonderful blog post by Vaneetha Rendall Demski on prayer and the primary position it holds in her life.  I thanked her for this timely reminder and she responded by telling me she wrote that post as a reminder to herself.  She seems really smart so I’ve chosen to follow her example and blog the things I’m learning and the avenues God has chosen by which to direct His insights.  The simplicity of such realizations make me feel weak and a bit embarrassed.  I wish I could learn something once and adhere it to my soul in order to fasten it always to my heart’s desire. 

When Ben Rector wrote “Sailboat” he may have been thinking of a physical existence.  Maybe the musician wasn’t quite sure where he was headed geographically or in which city the tour bus would be stopping next.  Google no doubt holds these specifics but this song expresses quite beautifully how I have felt lately in a spiritual sense.  I’ve no doubt been frustration by my inability to be the sailboat as well as the One who makes the wind blow.  I really want to try and feed myself while living an existence without the need of nourishment.  Then when the waves roll no wonder I feel lost and alone.

I have seen the sun
Felt the rain on my skin
I've been lost and found
But mostly I've been waiting

In moments of worry perpetuated by concern for how others see me I’m oblivious to seeing the sun and feeling the “rain on my skin.”  While surrounded by blessings I’m so self-absorbed I feel alone, inept and as if I have failed in every way possible. Fear not, as He has promised God is continuing to make all things new.  I’m coming to realizations I’ve reached before and will one day need to reach again.  These types of blog posts are for me to come back to when my God-given eccentricities fall into sinful desires resulting in human frailty.  Feel free to disregard and come back when the material is more appealing.  

Monday, June 23, 2014

Kidnapped

I love listening to audiobooks.  I'm usually in the middle of one classic novel or another due to an inability to accomplish mundane tasks such as cleaning my house or weeding my flower bed, without turning crazed with boredom.  If my mind is occupied then I enjoy such tasks.  A recent favorite is Kidnapped by Robert Louis Stevenson.

At one point of this elaborate tale the main character, David Balfour, is shipwrecked and washed up on an Island just off the coast of Scotland.  While thankful to be alive, the lone occupant experiences inconveniences any stranded hero might endure and struggles quite simply just to continue to exist. Balfour wanders the circumference of the island and finds on one side he can see the tops of buildings indicating there is a town just across the bay.  He attempts to cross the freezing, deep waters and fails.  His weakened condition and a lack of ability to swim prevents his rescue and requires a series of desperate, pitiful survival inducing efforts.  

Periodic torrential downpours make water relatively plentiful and shade from the Island's wooded center is essential.  There are lots of fish and Balfour is very capable of catching them but digesting said fish is a game of Russian roulette.  While the fish look identical they have completely opposite side effects. Sometimes, they are a source of temporary nourishment and other times he experiences food poisoning type explosions and cramping.  During the latter he fears he will die and then he fears that he won't.  As days go by and starvation sets in he craves the fish but is understandably fearful.  Stevenson portrays this pitiful existence brilliantly as he paints a picture of increasing desperation to get off the island.  On two separate occasions a fishing boat sails by.  The bedraggled man goes crazy, flailing his arms and calling out to the men on the boat.  Hopes of rescue are dashed when rather than attempting to help the poor man stuck on an island the fishermen smile, wave, and even laugh.  What kind of people would be so heartless?  The second of these two occasions the boat got close enough to shout at Balfour but could not rescue him due to yards of sharp reef buffering the shore.  During this transaction, two words were understood by our castaway.  "Tide"and a frustrated version of "whatever".  A lightbulb goes off in Balfour's brain!  He heads to the bay that seemed impassable and walks across the shallow water of low tide and into the town. Our hero had the means of escaping twice a day each of the seven days he was stranded. As Stevenson gives a window to his hero's thoughts we see the simplicity of this solution. In fact David Balfour acknowledges that had he stopped and rested the solution would have come easily. 

What a great metaphor!  How often do we feel stranded and alone, wandering around attempting to provide for ourselves?  We crave our sin that leaves us temporarily satisfied at best with the potential of  horrific explosions as the alternative.  Usually, our sin is feeding our isolation and the whole time we have been given the means of getting off the island.  We all have moments in life when we cling to our own devices of survival instead of giving in to the means of grace already offered.  

Friday, January 24, 2014

Skype and Guitar Strings

One of my greatest frustrations in life is this constant struggle with contentment.  I'm living the dream life with a wonderful husband in a beautiful home raising three of the finest humans I've ever met.  What is WRONG with me????

My 12 year old son brought his guitar to me the other day with a look of absolute disgust.  He was ready to chunk the once beloved Christmas present into the gas logs.  He had tuned said instrument, checked and rechecked his finger placement and it sounded terrible.  The budding musician was unaware that if you tune guitar strings to the wrong notes it sounds like nails on a chalk board.  The contrast in the sounds of the strings must be specific and precise.

Last weekend we had the pleasure of adding another teenager to the mix.  My daughter's friend boy came for a visit!  Emma and Winston have been super Skype buddies for a year and a half and get to see each other in person about twice a year.  On any given day Emma walks through the house humming and or singing...constantly.  A good day becomes great when she has time to Skype with Winston. However, after spending time with her buddy in person, returning to interaction via computer screen was difficult. The house has been very quiet with very little singing.  Chatting on Skype is GREAT, until contrasted with time in person.

I'm finding, in my advanced age, what ever aspect of life I'm currently finding unsatisfactory is due to contrast.  I'm discontent with my appearance when I've been saturated with famous people.  I fail to realize, "Hey, they're on TV for a reason." Often times discontentment is due to feelings of stress or being overwhelmed with all I have going on. This pressure is not piled on due to demanding bosses or the great importance of the task at hand.  Rather, I've placed perfection as my point of reference.  I'm just prideful enough to desire, even crave the praise of men and had I the ability to provide perfection it would grasp the attention of many.

My prayer is that I will set my thoughts on things above.  I'll tune my top desire to bringing glory to a holy God just as my son tunes the E string on his guitar to E rather than A sharp.  Contentment is not my goal but the lack there of is a pretty good indication that I'm contrasting my life's desire with worldly affection and love of self rather than finding my identity in the Most High Almighty God.  Who, by the way, happens to be the Creator of the universe and calls me by name.  Just saying...what is wrong with me?