This weekend finds me home alone. The other four of our family of five are headed in three different directions for various reasons. I've been anticipating for days the quiet time when all I have to do is exactly what I wish. All day Friday, while hard at work, I looked forward to 4:30 like never before. I could not WAIT to get home. I walked into my house, looked around at the emptiness, took a deep breath, and immediately felt lost.
The last few weeks I have talked to a handful of students in various stages of romantic relationships. A few in this handful have voiced significant fear in giving up independence for the sake of pursuing life with another. I get it! Sometimes I feel like I jump out of one world where people are always asking me for servitude into another that is as demanding if not more so. When my selfishness and pride takes over I can get downright pitiful! I begin to wonder if I'm allowed my own thoughts much less actions that resemble any sort of independence!
As I've made decisions the last few hours based completely on my own desires I've had one overwhelming emotion. Loneliness. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed my nap after work, watching Covenant Men's Basketball team come so close to beating Liberty and am (as I type this post) on glass number two of red wine. But I'm glad it's short lived. While it's nice to have a bit of a break I wouldn't want to live it continuously. Not everyone is called to be a wife, mother and admin. However, no one should make independence or self reliance a life goal. We are all called to serve others and to die to self daily. To those few students who have voiced their legitimate and understandable fears of sacrifice for the sake of being with another, I say give it up. Lay down the rags of self reliance along with the false sense of security independence supposedly provides. Grasp the riches of building a life around serving those who love you most.
"Always remember there is nothing worth sharing like the love that let us share our name." -The Avett Brothers
Andy went grocery shopping before he left town. Not sure if I should be flattered or offended by "Smoking Loon."
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