One of my greatest frustrations in life is this constant struggle with contentment. I'm living the dream life with a wonderful husband in a beautiful home raising three of the finest humans I've ever met. What is WRONG with me????
My 12 year old son brought his guitar to me the other day with a look of absolute disgust. He was ready to chunk the once beloved Christmas present into the gas logs. He had tuned said instrument, checked and rechecked his finger placement and it sounded terrible. The budding musician was unaware that if you tune guitar strings to the wrong notes it sounds like nails on a chalk board. The contrast in the sounds of the strings must be specific and precise.
Last weekend we had the pleasure of adding another teenager to the mix. My daughter's friend boy came for a visit! Emma and Winston have been super Skype buddies for a year and a half and get to see each other in person about twice a year. On any given day Emma walks through the house humming and or singing...constantly. A good day becomes great when she has time to Skype with Winston. However, after spending time with her buddy in person, returning to interaction via computer screen was difficult. The house has been very quiet with very little singing. Chatting on Skype is GREAT, until contrasted with time in person.
I'm finding, in my advanced age, what ever aspect of life I'm currently finding unsatisfactory is due to contrast. I'm discontent with my appearance when I've been saturated with famous people. I fail to realize, "Hey, they're on TV for a reason." Often times discontentment is due to feelings of stress or being overwhelmed with all I have going on. This pressure is not piled on due to demanding bosses or the great importance of the task at hand. Rather, I've placed perfection as my point of reference. I'm just prideful enough to desire, even crave the praise of men and had I the ability to provide perfection it would grasp the attention of many.
My prayer is that I will set my thoughts on things above. I'll tune my top desire to bringing glory to a holy God just as my son tunes the E string on his guitar to E rather than A sharp. Contentment is not my goal but the lack there of is a pretty good indication that I'm contrasting my life's desire with worldly affection and love of self rather than finding my identity in the Most High Almighty God. Who, by the way, happens to be the Creator of the universe and calls me by name. Just saying...what is wrong with me?
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